I wonder how much time I’ve wasted
worrying about things that either didn’t happen or didn’t matter.
I wonder how much time I’ve spent dreading or resisting things that I was always going to do, regardless.
They say time you enjoyed wasting was never wasted.
Perhaps I enjoyed it all.
Perhaps we all do.
The drama can be addictive.
The self can be delicious even if it tastes foul.
An acquired taste means no one likes it at first,
but you taste it so much you get convinced it tastes good.
The self can be like that,
a pain but a pleasure,
something to protect and own and claim,
and be claimed.
The more I try not to worry,
the more I worry.
“Don’t be sad.”
“Just calm down.”
Repression leads to repercussion.
Suppression is all too common.
A population of dumbed-down minds told that their darkness is not valid.
Cover the darkness, it gets darker.
Whoever hates the night but loves the day will go mad.
We need both.
and move beyond
– Adam Oakley